Understanding Strayins

Posted by on 19th Jul 2015

Geoffrey Rush, Actor

With our typically irreverent and laid-back demeanours, and appreciation for the blunt and absurd, Australia is most famous for one thing: being a country mostly full of white people who speak English but aren’t identical to Americans and aren’t British.

As Australia grows in international notoriety for its terrible actors and weather — and as the only liveable destination for English speakers in post-apocalyptic 2018 — it’s becoming increasingly important to have a good understanding of the modern Australian dialect, and how we communicate.

Here is that indispensable guide.


Things
cell phone mobile phone
toaster oven toaster
stovetop hotplate
SUV 4WD (“four wheel drive”)
light pole telegraph pole
paling stake
shovel dirt-spoon
Attire
shirt shirt, t-shirt
baseball cap [no known translation]
pants legswogglers
jeans canvas slacks
shoes shoes
blazer jacket
sweater jumper
pockets todswogglers
Sports
football (soccer) soccer
football (gridiron) “the American game”
rugby footy
ice skating cold-dancing
sprinting running
chess shuffle-board
shuffle-board whooshwoosh broom
The Body
arms rhythm sticks
legs barrel-straddlers
feet flathands
head thinkdick
elbows hinge-warmers
[flabby skin which hangs down on the upper-arms of some older women, when their arms are raised] meat curtains
Flora
rose rose
daffodil [no known translation]
gumtree woodman
woodsman grave digger
wattle yellowhair
fern fern
Fauna
kangaroo kangaroo
koala bear koala
wombat old-man baggy
duck-billed platypus platypus
red-back spider redback
black bird chopmonster
Outside
side-walk footpath
bar pub
Olive Garden café
road street
street way
way road
lane little way
Inside
table tableu
chair chaise
door push-wall
window see-mirror
bed room fuck cave
lounge-room living-room
kitchen restaurant de la maison
Foods and Drinks
beer “Oh sweetest nectar, thy god’s own blood and sweat to slake the doughty tradesman’s want, oh greatest triumph, piss of angel-kin”
wine grog
milk milk
whole milk milk
skim milk skim milk
water thin milk
daiquiri Santiago sing-sing
On The Town
club disco
theater theatre
movies cinema
titty bar stripclub
brothel “O tremendous cavern of orgiastic pleasures, the rounded fruits of most holy libations, the squeezing place of fuck and rut and dirt air thickened by the tangy flesh-sweat of bucking animal groan-dancing.”
diner shithole
Friends
friend mate
old friend old bastard
close friend bloody bastard
brother-in-arms fucking bastard
unpleasant person wolly
Family
grandpa grandad, grandfather
mom mum
sir father
gramgram grandma, grandmother
cousin Jeff your cousin Peter
Professions
doctor GP
nurse nurse
policeman coppa
fire-fighter fiery (fire-ee)
teacher “surplus dreck, a most lamentable waste of bones and organs, a wicked and black-hearted oxygen sponging drab”
librarian [no known translation]
cook “l’homme de cuisson chef ou femme, ceux qui sont en charge de la coordination des efforts de la saucier, poissonnier, rôtisseur, grillardin, friturier, entremetier, boucher, pâtissier, et oui, en effet, même le chef de ligne , l’on a souvent connu comme chef de partie ou «cuisinier de la stand»”
Religion
priest vicar
pastor rector
cardinal vector
scientologist insane
rabbi jewdoctor